Feb
Word Porn Leaps on February 29th
Happy February 29th everyone! Did anyone else read about how some well-meaning mothers, desperate to protect their children from the ravages of a birthday that comes only every four years, are going so far as to request a cork to prevent delivery? True story. Plus, I guess February 29th is the one day it’s allowed and encouraged for women to ask dudes to marry them. Wow, one day every four years we get to exercise agency and leadership in our relationships. Yay us!
Vagina barriers and antiquated gender roles aside, what a wonderful day to indulge in some language love. Let’s kick off this once-in-every-four-years edition of word porn with a special leap year definition!
Bissextile Year
Ah, what a tease, this word. It evokes a whole year of some good old bisexual ardor, the kind you might find on my new obsession, Torchwood. But no! This lovely term refers to a year just like our own. Bissextile Year = a leap year in the Julian or Gregorian calendar. Let’s flex some writing muscles and give this a sentence, offering one way to celebrate the day. “On Friday Jasmine celebrated the bissextile year in her February 29th tradition: a vacation day of shopping, fine dining, and attending a movie, followed by consuming several shots of Jim Beam, removing her clothes, and streaking by Wrigley Field.”
Euphuism
Euphuism refers to artificial elegance of language. Hmm. How about: “Of all the faults ascribed to the 43rd president of the United States, including hubris, an inability to change course, and sheer jackassery, euphuistic language has never been charged to George W. Bush.”
Zaibatsu
Hel-lo! Who doesn’t like a word that starts with Z? Not many to choose from, but they’re pretty fun: zen, zesty, zealous, and the list goes on (but not for long). This word sounds like a rockin’ new dance, or a catastrophic melee of the Hollywood type, or a killer move Jason Bourne might use to disembowel a baddie with a paper clip. In reality, zaibatsu means a powerful financial/industrial conglomerate in Japan, and refers mainly to entities dissolved during the Allied occupation of Japan after WWII. I like my meanings better. But lets give this one a whirl. “Jack and Jill were dismayed to learn the new group they joined did not have anything to do with business and did not qualify as a zaibatsu; instead, the Scientology branch they signed on for was legally designated as a ‘nutjob cult.’”
And…scene. Have a great February 29th!
Do you have some words that could use some porny love? Submit your comments and suggestions!
