Quiet Rebel Writer

Hello one and all, and welcome to Friday afternoon! I face this Friday in my new office, nearly all put away from box hell earlier in the week, and I’m looking forward to a well-deserved cocktail hour. But first, I’ve got a little ranting to do.

As you all may remember, each Friday I cap off a week of inspiring writing, freelance tips and thoughts, publishing aspirations, and marketing maven-ry with a little venting. See, this blog is named Quiet Rebel Writer for a reason. I’m a firm believer that by breaking some rules you can find success in your writing, in your creative goals, and in your life. I like to thumb my nose at what writers are supposed to be and do, and make my own way. It applies to my life too. A bit of quiet rebellion is key, folks.

Today I’ve been thinking about jobs that I won’t consider. I’m still in that phase of my career that I feel pressure to take on any job that comes my way. I’m still anxious about keeping the pipeline full and ensuring I can pay my new mortgage (ugh). But I will draw the line in a few key places. There are some jobs I won’t even consider pursuing or taking, even if offered with a suitcase of cash and a free yacht. And there are some rantworthy reasons why. Let’s take a look:

Women’s magazines: Here’s the thing. No matter how much lip service Cosmo, Marie Claire, Elle, Vogue, and all the rest give to sassy, smart females, it’s a bunch of shite. Consider the recent Elle, with a cover story about intelligent females. The problem, as Jezebel describes, is the relative dearth of actual smart, self-aware, um, actual women. Elle’s not alone – every time a magazine geared towards women (meaning a publication with a freaky obsession with sex, body shape, and fashion) ostensibly celebrates womanhood, it’s couched in some sort of sales message that negates the whole thing.

Women’s magazines of these types peddle self-hatred masked as empowerment. It’s as simple as that. They focus on loving the size you are, in articles surrounded by ads for diet aids, clothes for anorexics, and all sorts of creams and other shit to put on your body to make it younger, tighter, and unnatural. They focus on being smart and in control, as long as you look impeccable, dress expensively, and prioritize working out the body over exercising the mind. They insist upon sex awareness and tricks as empowerment, while couching all the articles in terms of “what men really want!” and not what we might get off on.

Here’s what I do about that: I subscribe to a different kind of women’s magazine (like this one, and this one). And I refuse to write for any publication or site that has this kind of philosophy.

Wedding magazines/companies: In case you haven’t noticed from reading this blog, I have some, well, different opinions about writing. That quietly rebellious nature of mine also extends to other areas of my life, including marriage, religion (see more on that below), and gender. With marriage, I am wonderfully happy for people who choose it as their path in life. I’ve been in several of my friends’ weddings, attended over 30 in the last 8 years, and enjoyed each one. When it comes to my own life, I’ve decided to forgo the marriage and simply be with my boyfriend of 8 years. Living in sin is mighty nice, as far as I’m concerned. And it actually makes us more committed than ever.

I’ve done this for many reasons, reasons I can discuss in other posts. One thing that rankles me about marriage? The wedding industry. People are getting rich peddling exorbitant wedding ceremonies to women reared with stars in their eyes, hoping for a fairy tale. These companies encourage women to put all their energy and focus toward one day, one magical day that must be exceedingly planned, plotted, micromanaged and organized. Once that day is over, the real marriage starts. But after years and years of building up towards that one wedding day, the real marriage is a let down.

I’m all for marriage (for everyone) if people choose to do it. But participants, especially women, have to have their priorities straight and their eyes open. And the wedding industry, the magazines geared towards the perfect dress, nail polish, underwear, place settings, and other crap, the photographers and bands and event halls and bakers and all the others, sell a fantasy that has no bearing on real life. They’re suspect, and I won’t participate.

“Moral” Companies: I saw an ad this week looking for a writer with morality. It actually said that. Reading further, I learned the company was one that produced religious-themed publications. I’ve seen other ads with similar requests, for companies that span the spectrum of industry but operate from a Christian perspective.

I make no secret of the fact that I am not religious. I consider myself an atheist, in fact. I’ve had fascinating, enjoyable conversations with Christian friends and family about this fact, without vitriol or exasperation. I’m open to whatever people believe. But that doesn’t mean I will take money from people who consider morality and religion to be necessarily joined.

The problem I see with religion, as with so many other organized beliefs, is extremism. When believers insist that someone must believe in their religion to be a good person, that someone cannot be nice, law-abiding, generous, caring, and generally moral without believing in a Judeo-Christian-Islamic god, that is extreme. And just plain wrong. I may have my faults. I may not floss enough, I may not recycle all the time, or say hi to strangers (especially the ones that stare leeringly at me on the CTA). But dammit, I’m a good person. And no one with such a restricted view is going to tell me different. So I won’t work for any companies that try to.

Individuals or Companies that Don’t Like The Who: …Ok, not really. I don’t really have a section on my client discovery questionnaire quizzing them on their Who knowledge and love. (“Ok, Mr. X, I’m so glad you’re willing to exceed my estimated cost, but one last question: which Tommy song is your favorite?”) But damn, who in their right mind doesn’t like The Who???

So that’s my rant. Now it’s your turn. What do you draw the line on? Are there companies/publications/individuals you won’t work for/with? Why?

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