Quiet Rebel Writer

WORD PORN! It’s a sunny Chicago Friday afternoon. I just paid taxes but am not suicidal. I got a few new assignments this week. My new loft is shaping up. I had some great new visitors here. Things are good.

So let’s skip the introduction (you can find it here), forget the foreplay and get right to it, shall we??

Bumbershoot

Sacre bleu! Part of the fun of word porn is trying to figure out what a specific mix of syllables could mean, before truth is revealed. This one makes me think of some frakked up political mess (otherwise known as the Spitzer), or a twisted hunting escapade involving bumblebees. Maybe a kickass roller derby moniker or an American Gladiator nickname. The actual definition is much more mundane. It’s a freaking umbrella. Seriously. Let’s see what magic we can work by putting the word in a sentence.

“’Get your bumbershoot,’ Frank said. Lisa smiled. ‘Is that what we’re calling it these days?’”

Fanfaronade

Cripes, this sounds fun. Who wouldn’t want to attend a shindig called a fanfaronade? Sounds like a perfect way to describe the sheer geekgasm that was the recent Buffy reunion at the Paley festival. But actually, fanfaronade plays with us. It actually means empty boasting or bluster. Hmm. I like it. Let’s do this.

“At the first bite, all seated around the table realized that Nate’s claim of being a world class chef was pure fanfaronade. They met eyes with the silent message: This meal sucked.”

Amphibology

I would have never guessed this one. Naturally, one would assume this is the study of amphibians. Would fit right in with my former dean’s focus, who chose my Phi Beta Kappa induction ceremony to give a treatise on the sexual behavior of frogs. No joke. But no, amphibology actually refers to a sentence or phrase that can be interpreted in more than one way. Well. How about:

“At the end of an astonishing performance in the There Will be Blood, Daniel Day-Lewis utters a terrific amphibology: ‘I’m finished!’”

Hope you enjoyed as much as me. Stay tuned for a Friday rant, coming up shortly.

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