Apr
Going Soft: The Freelancer Pain in the Gut
For the most part, freelancing is glorious. The annoyances and problems that do inherently occur are outweighed with the kickassness of the career. Taxes? Sure, they blow as a free agent. Feast and famine? Sure, it’s painful when you’re this close to reinstituting the ramen diet from college. But I can deal.
But there’s one problem tied with my last couple years of freelancing that has become a pain in my expanding ass: going soft and saggy round the middle.
Ah yes. For most of my adult life I’ve vacillated between two clothing sizes. I can usually depend on a running habit built in high school combined with an inherent love of food and booze to cancel each other out, and keep me in the trimmer size. But as of late, the balance is out of whack.
How is this related to freelancing, you ask? Intimately. Here’s how it happens, from the very beginning of freelance freedom:
- Yay! I’m a freelancer! I work at home! No more commute! Yay! It’s true, the removal of the daily commute by CTA bus or train, complete with grouchy, unnecessarily bitchy fellow commuters, was a great side effect of crafting a freelancing career. My commute became the few step crawl from bed to my desk. Freedom! Except… my daily commute involved a lot of walking. I walked several blocks to the bus or train, then several blocks from the stop to my destination. At night, I repeated. The walking added up. And when it was removed, some guaranteed daily exercise left as well.
- Yay! I’m a freelancer! I work at home! I can cook my own nice lunch, and buy groceries, and be healthier, and blahbety blah. Lovely sentiments. Except…despite my years of fending for myself, I have yet to perfect that whole “cooking for one” thing. And my inherent love of food means I always err on the side of “too goddamn much.” Plus, until my recent move, my home office was five steps from my bed. Afternoon naps…so…irresistible…and pleasant…on a full stomach…no matter if it’s a sure way to fatassery…
- Yay! I’m a freelancer! I can work out during the day! The joy of making my own schedule included setting up time in mid morning or mid afternoon to visit the gym, or run, or do something (anything). And I did it. For awhile. Except…I work harder as a freelancer than I have at any other job. Period. And there never seems to be enough time. And working out seems a discretionary time suck. Something easily culled.
So, here we are. A little extra pudge around the middle. And here’s the thing. For women, unfortunately, this is a much bigger deal than it is for our male counterparts. We’re made to feel guilty for any inch and pound we show outside the f’ed up societal norm of anorexic models. It becomes part of us, part of our self-esteem, part of our integral vision of ourselves and our abilities, no matter if we’re otherwise smart, pleasant, valuable people.
My thought? So frakkin what. So what if I’ve gained some weight. So I may be back in my bigger size. It’s the way it goes. I refuse to be caught up in all the shit around a woman’s weight. I’ll get back to my smaller size. Even if I don’t? I’m still healthy. I’m still happy. I’m still a good person.
What I do recognize, though, is that I need to exercise more. The pudge has reminded me that working out is absolutely essential to my psyche, and I’m suffering without it. Without working out, I can go for days without leaving my home office. I can get caught up in my own insular world. My bum stomach suffers.
So I’ve started running again. Since I was in high school, it’s always given me what I desperately need: clarity, sanity, health. When I run, I focus more, I feel more a part of the world, and I feel more confident in my self, mentally and physically. Maybe I’ll get leaner as a nice side effect from my newly refound running habit. That could be cool. But it ain’t necessary.
I finish this post with questions for you, the reader. Have you found the pudge harder to keep at bay with freelancing? How do you feel about it? I run to find focus and sanity in a fairly isolated job. What do you do?
Like this post? Of course you do. There’s more where that came from. Tell us what you think below, and then subscribe by email or RSS. You’ll thank me later…
I was a freelancer of sorts for 28+ years. I drove a Tractor Trailer. For 10 of those years I drove my own truck. And yes, I look the part. I’ve got the big belly the mid drift bulge if you will. Now that I’m disabled I just have a new excuse not to exercise.
My disability is my left knee. I use it as an excuse at will.The truth be told I can still lose some weight If I go to the gym and do my 20 min. workout.Even if it’s not as rigorous as it was in my youth,done 3 times a week I can still see steady weight loss.
So see. In my opinion,they’re are no excuses.I for one need to trick myself into believing that I really really want to go to the gym. Now if you can help me with that… I’m justa saying!
April 15th, 2008 at 3:05 pmAny sedentary occupation promotes weight gain. You don’t have to look far to see the combined effects of available fast food, video games (Wii is the exception) and office jobs on the the ever-expanding waistbands of our general public.
Years ago, I started to get a little soft around the middle after working late nights to finish projects got me in the habit of ordering carry-out food. Remember pizza at midnight in the dorms? Remember the associated weight gain? Same thing. I’ve always prided myself on being physically-fit, but I couldn’t deny the adverse impact of this behavior.
I’m much more disciplined these days about what I eat and drink and never neglect to excercise. I grew-up playing a lot of sports, but for the past year I’ve been running. Last year, I completed my first half-marathon in San Francisco along with numerous 3 and 5k races. Now, I’m training for a 10-miler, another half-marathon and maybe the Chicago Marathon if it’s not 100 degrees that day.
Amy’s right. Any aerobic exercise puts you in a better frame of mind to confront that blank computer screen. So, stop waisting your time reading this pointless comment, strap on those running shoes, tennis shoes or cross-trainers and, in the immortal words of Olivia Newton John, “… Get Physicial!”
April 15th, 2008 at 7:49 pm@Mark - First, welcome! Glad to have you here. And you raise some great points. It’s all about what we use as excuses. If only we were hardwired to view physical activity as something fun rather than something we have to do, it’d be so much simpler!!
@Sherree - Your mention of college was right on. I feel like in my first few months and years of freelancing I experienced another freshman 15 of sorts, reverting to stupid habits in the name of getting stuff done. Congrats on the running accomplishments, by the way! I’ve been a runner for over 15 years, but never attempted a half or full marathon. Kudos! (BTW - thanks for the himage that now will not leave my head - that of ONJ singing in spandex and sweatband. Sweet)
April 15th, 2008 at 8:46 pmGreat post! Though I’m not a freelancer (yet?), I face many of the same challenges since I do most of my work at home. So the “YAY! I work (mostly) at home” for me has had the same associated weight gain - not to mention that I gained weight in Iraq that I’ve never managed to get out. (Stressful conditions + all you can eat + not wanting to get back on duty = 10 pounds of deployment to carry around with you.) Combine that with a mostly sedentary lifestyle, Midwest weather, and vacillating self-discipline and you get another 10. So, yea, twentyish pounds need to go.
Time to set up the Hassleme account for exercise…
April 16th, 2008 at 7:39 am@Charlie - never thought about weight gain in Iraq, but that makes total sense! I eat more when I’m stressed, plus all you can eat? Yikes. And here’s our damn Midwest weather again. Yet another reason for us all to quit and move to Southern Cal
April 16th, 2008 at 12:19 pmI’ve worked at home from most of my adult life. I find tying working out to my creativity helps. While my knees and back won’t let me run anymore, a brisk long walk or bike ride really wakes up my brain. I don’t carry an iPod or other noise maker. I walk where I can enjoy nature (even just other people’s yards) and bird songs. Thinking about a plot or a project or simply dumping all thought and walking is a great thing. Some of my best ideas happen after a walk.
If I exercise in the morning I feel terrific all day. Then a quick walk in the late afternoon helps release all kinds of tension.
One note, I’m guessing you are much younger than my 50 year old self. Get a good work out habit going now. At my age, the weight sticks like old gum caught in your shoe. Muscles forget their tone in an afternoon. And, by golly, everything starts creaking….not to mention sliding…I can’t imagine how or why this has started happening to ME, but you are young enough to head some of it off at the pass. lol
April 16th, 2008 at 6:23 pmDon’t sell yourself short, DebMc. I’m 50 too and have completed a half-marathon and several shorter races. Middle age doesn’t have to sound the death knell to physical fitness. Some of the women, who’ve beaten me in races, are in their 50s and 60s with bodies like school girls. Heck, I think Deanna Keastor, who made the U.S. Olymphic marathon team is 45.
April 16th, 2008 at 9:11 pmAmy’s going to tell me to get my own blog if I want to comment this much…
April 16th, 2008 at 9:20 pm@DebMC - absolutely. I keep telling myself that I have to keep my habits now at 30, as it will help me over the next decades. Sounds like you’ve got a great routine. I also puzzle things out in my head when I’m running or walking. Good clarity.
@Sherree - great points. And now I know what I want to be when I grow up
And don’t you dare stop commenting. I look forward to every comment you make!!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:58 pmSherree-
I’ve been waiting for her to open up a forum for us or to just email us and say “I appreciate you guys commenting, but I’d like to do some of the talking at my blog.”
But I’m with you about using exercise to spark creativity. My only problem with that has been the capture of ideas without getting sweat all over either the notepad or the computer as I run in the door.
April 17th, 2008 at 9:07 am@Sherree and Charlie - I heart both of you. I’d give you big sloppy kisses if I could. But that could change the dynamic of our relationship. Awkward.
Keep those comments coming!!
April 17th, 2008 at 11:13 amHi Ames,
I too can attest to the added paunch that comes with running your own business and working more hours than you thought even existed in a single day. My solution was to carve out an hour a day and have a personal trainer come right to my office to kick my butt. This way I save yet another commute and get the workout I need. It’s worked marvelously for me and since my guy is like those trainers you see on “The Biggest Loser” I’ve got no chance in hell of ever giving up. Here is a link to his website if anyone is in Chicago, give Bean a ring and tell him Doc sent ‘ya. Cheers, D
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:16 amI think you nailed it, Amy. It’s the “I’ll go out as soon as I write a few more sentence” syndrone. Happens to me more often than I’d like… where I get so caught up in my work that the day is over before I realize it. And yeah, sitting in front of a computer most of the day is not great for the butt or gut or most other body parts. Making a conscious effort to get out and run or walk or go to the gym every day (or every other) takes discipline. But if you’re disciplined enough to work at home, you should be able to use those same skills to get yourself out the door. Now if only I could act on my
April 24th, 2008 at 9:57 pmown advice!