Quiet Rebel Writer

For this week’s theme we’ve talked about the twin terrors of insecurity and intimidation when it comes to living creatively. Thursday is marketing maven time here at the QRW, and these internal drags are a painfully appropriate topic.

Makes a sick kind of sense, dunnit? The best time for insecurity to rear its ugly parasitic head is when we should be most confident, most secure. Freelancers have to market ourselves in order to survive. We have to continually put ourselves in front of others in order to get those clients that pay us the medium-sized bucks. Marketing our services is the time when we need to boast a bit, to think about our phenomenal talents and play those up until we are irresistible. But of course, we may really be quaking in the knees about our talents and abilities. And so marketing becomes intimidating.

And oh yes, there are different kinds of intimidation. Join me, won’t you, on a personal journey through the various insecurities and intimidations I (and perhaps you) can feel when marketing.

• The “Don’t Talk to Strangers” Intimidation. So we’re told ad nauseum about the power of cold calling as a marketing method. I’ve remarked previously about my irrationally powerful hatred of cold calling. And you know why that is? I get intimidated when calling strangers. I don’t even like to call my friends and family, the doctor, or People’s Gas when my bill reaches the knife in the gut price range. So the idea of calling strangers who might be potential clients makes me want to curl up in a fetal position and protect the inner organs.

  The intimidation here, for me, is the uncontrollable nature of phone calls. I’m a writer – I work best when expressing my thoughts through writing. A phone call represents way too many opportunities to misspeak, to represent myself poorly, to make inappropriate jokes that involve profanity (a reflex, I swear). No matter if I have talking points or even a script in front of me, I’m still desperately uncomfortable and anxious, intimidated by these folks with such power on the other end, and insecure about my ability to express myself.

• The “Not So Fresh Feeling” Intimidation. Remember that all-encompassing fear that rises like an unkillable Michael Jackson zombie when calling strangers? Talking to them in person is nearly as bad. At business events, networking sessions, and even informal groups, if the purpose is to generate leads and potential clients, intimidation reigns. I feel like that painfully shy teenager again, only now I have to go up to the pretty girls and attractive boys and ask for money.
• The “Holy shit, am I really that good?” Intimidation. I’m preparing print or electronic marketing materials. Back in the realm of comfort, the written word comes naturally and I make some kickass introductions to my services. But then upon rereading, I get a little freaked. Am I really as good as I say I am? Can I actually do what I promise to do? Am I really worth the money? Am I really cut out to be a writer? Am I good enough, and smart enough, and do people really like me? And so on.
• The “When a Stranger Calls” Intimidation. As a result of hard-fought marketing efforts, someone actually calls. Answering the phone and finding an unfamiliar voice on the other end should be a time of rejoicing. Instead, I can occasionally freak. Who is this person, and what the frak do they think I can do for them? Wait, they want to hire me? Cue the stuttering, the lips flapping, the things coming out of the mouth that I regret later (low-balled prices, quick turn-around promises, those jokes that land with a thud and shocked silence…)

Good times. So here’s the thing – I’ve battled all these insecurities and intimidation, and defeated them. For the most part, I’m confident, calm, and comfortable when at networking events, preparing marketing materials, and even accepting calls. (Cold calling still makes me batshit crazy scared. I’ve opted out of this technique as a result.) I’m more secure in my abilities, and in my efforts to market them. I reason with myself: because my business is doing well, I’m obviously giving my clients value, and I’m doing well at marketing myself. Hence, no need to fear.

My solution, then, for marketing-induced insecurity and intimidation is a combination of things. I remind myself that, yes, goddamn right, I’m a good writer and a good businessperson, and worth all the well-crafted subtle boasting I can do. I also eliminate what I can’t stomach. Cold calling is out for me; as an alternative, I work the other areas like nobody’s bidness.

As one Twitter friend reminded me yesterday, intimidation should be a fight or flight phenomenon. Unless you’re facing down a grizzly that can maim and/or eat you, there’s no cause for being intimidated. And I have yet to find a client or prospect that was able to do either.

Now it’s your turn. Have you faced any insecurities and intimidation when marketing yourself? How do you handle it?

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