Hello again, all! This week we’re talking about the Secrets of (Un)Success. While craploads of advice are out there for the easy or tough paths to successful paradise, it’s just as crucial to think about the ways you eff your shite up.

When it comes to writing novels, stories, or other creations, there’s so many ways you can do it wrong. The whole enterprise is so fraught with uncertainty, ephemeral hopes and dreams, and staggering odds against success, I could write a book. (Hey!) But lets focus on ways in which you can shoot yourself in the eye during the actual act of writing your opus.

• Blabbing. You’ve got a splendiferous idea for a book/story/hybrid, and you’re itching to tell your friends, family, and lover(s). Fight that impulse, baby. Here’s why – telling anyone and everyone who will listen about your artfully thought-out premise for a story sets yourself up to be the pompous jackass when that story is never created. And by telling anyone and everyone about your concept, you increase the likelihood it won’t be created.

  The act of telling others about your creation before it begins can seem to take the pressure off. I’ve got this idea, says that inner wussy, so it doesn’t matter if I wait a while to do anything about it. It doesn’t matter if I simply talk about it for months and years, and never do any actual writing, because the idea, man. That’s what matters. Horsey poo, I say. Toil in silence, or at least with only a few key constituents aware of the project in progress. It ups the chances of the actual hard work to take place.

• Educating. Oh, how glorious! The ever-expanding bookshelves at the local booking stores are groaning with treatises on how to write, how to craft, and how to organize. You can even shell out some dough for nifty software programs to help do all these tasks. But this can turn into a big waste of time and money. Instead of doing the actual writing, learning through the work of writing and revision, you’re waiting for that mythical time when all will become clear, when you’ve learned all there is to know about killer writing, and the finished bestseller novel will flow unimpeded from your fingers. Ain’t gonna happen.
• Researching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re taking on a subject that sparks your passion but may not come from a deep well of knowledge. To make it real, you happily dive into the research. But here’s the thing – a bit of research may be terrific, but it can quickly turn into a timesucking quicksand of death. It can be used, especially for first-time writers petrified by the task ahead, as delaying the inevitable. We’re writers, ya’ll. We’re supposed to imagine and create, not simply regurgitate. Make it up.
• Being Consistent. Write everyday. Each day. For hours. That’s the key to effective novel completion, most say. While this is all well and good, and can indeed work, there is such a thing as momentary dullness of the mind. There’s days when writing is drudgery. Other secrets of success would have you always always always push on through. I say, it might be okay to give yourself some breaks and write when the mood hits.

I know. It can be tough to take. But you guys are tough, and you can take it. It all comes down to planning and writing smart, and the odds for actually finishing that novel are increased. Getting it published… well that’s a story for another time.

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