Word Porn and a Cautionary Tale
20
June
Great testes of fire, am I glad it’s Friday.
This week the QRW was excessively productive and disciplined in her professional life, I’m happy to report. It was a week with much work to be done, and instead of backing myself into a corner of Thursday night hell, I worked my boobies off each day from the early morn till a respectable evening hour. Yay me! (I have to celebrate when I can - a realist, I know this won’t happen every week. So yay while the yay-ing is good!)
Of course, another reason for my Friday happiness? The one, the only (as far as I can tell - great googly moogly, I should write a book!), the rockin’ and rollin’, the silly and sinful… Word Porn. Let’s get to it.
Divarication
Ah, so many -tion words, and so many gems. Here’s another for the list - divarication means a divergence of opinion. Let’s offer a sentence to demonstrate, a few sentences in fact that begin a tale for the ages…
The new senior girls gathered Dazed and Confused style, plotting their dominion over the peons to maximize every second of glory that would be replayed the rest of their lives. Trouble started, however, when Leslie suggested an official uniform, Pink Ladies style. A major divarication arose, and soon the girls were battling it out with razors and shanks, Oz style.
Pernicious
Wow, didn’t see that coming. Next word! Pernicious means highly injurious or destructive, even deadly. Uh oh, I can see where this is heading…
The remaining senior girls, those who survived the pernicious Heathers style power struggle, split into camps and plotted their next move. Of course, none of the girls had paid much attention to junior English to realize their move was very Lord of the Flies style.
Colligate
Whatever will our bitchy 17-year-old females do? Perhaps the next word will point the way towards a happy ending these mean girls so desperately need. Colligate means to bind, unite, or group together. Cue the violins:
After a particularly gruesome battle between the seniors, in which a young girl lost not only her arm but her Marc Jacobs tailored shirt, the girls finally realized their folly. In a touching moment, Stand by Me style, the girls reconvened and vowed to colligate for good, turning their phenomenal powers of rage and violence against the proper targets: the underclassmen.
I think my little story has the makings of the next Hollywood hit…
Have fantastic Fridays and even better weekends.
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RANDOM LINK of the day: I’m attending a Miami Vice-themed party this weekend. All I can remember of the female component of the kickass show was Trudy and the other one dressed up like hookers as much as possible to get the bad guys. To avoid this fate, I’m going to bone up on a few episodes this weekend. Join me, won’t you?
1. Doc Kane | June 20th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Amy, you should be a comedian. AND, you should write a “word porn” book!
2. Charlie Gilkey | Productive Flourishing | June 21st, 2008 at 7:32 am
Which fate are you trying to avoid: dressing up like Trudy or a hooker?
You know I love Word pr0n. The new word for the week was divarication! No multiple-”M”‘d syllables for me to stumble over, Porky-Pig style. :p
3. Elizabeth McQuern | June 23rd, 2008 at 10:23 am
Yes, I agree with Doc Kane, you are a very funny writer. I could see you writing all manner of comedy, especially personal essay stuff. Surely you have a trove of childhood memories you could delve into.
4. Amy | June 23rd, 2008 at 4:29 pm
@Doc, Charlie, and Elizabeth - oh lord. You’re just making my head big now, and you’ve unleashed the monster…