Welcome ladies and gents to the weekly den of nerdy enjoyment I like to call Word Porn! New to this variant of pron? Well great googly moogley, sit on down, buck up, and get ready for a very adult vocabulary lesson.

This is how I celebrate a Friday, along with my happy hour cocktails coming up in a mere sixish hours. It’s been a good productive week here in the QRW headquarters, so plenty to celebrate. All right, ready now? Let’s do this.

Panegyric

Folks, I don’t mess around. I’m going straight for the good stuff with this one. I mean, look at that gem. An intoxicating array of consonants add up to a delicious “what the f does that mean?” response. I had no idea, so had to go straight to the gods of word porn, good old Webster and Oxford. They informed me that panegyric means formal or elaborate praise. Hmmm. Can I have the word in a sentence please?

He wanted badly to impress her, to tell her just how important her fetching prose was to his battered soul. He waited in line with the others, rehearsing his loving panegyric as he caressed her book in his hands. But all was for naught as his turn approached and he found himself saying, “Pretty, writing, lady, good, can I have a piece of your hair?”

Etiolate

You know how words can have completely separate meanings? You think somewhere, somehow, some prehistoric dude decided to fuck with all of us descendants by making it that way? Consider etiolate, which can have a very specific meaning of bleaching or altering the natural development of a plant by removing sunlight. Harsh. But etiolate also means to make pale or feeble. Our hairy and smelly ancestor’s molecules are having a laugh right now. Let’s go with the second definition.

He thought his redheaded lass was the end of his romantic quest. But he soon realized her evil snare. After a month of mandatory indoors activity, a result of her achingly white-on-white skin, she had made him etiolate and unable to resist her pull. He never saw the sun again.

Sacrosanct

This is one of those words I like best. Why? Sacrosanct means most sacred or holy, or inviolable. Now I’m going to put that word in a naughty sounding sentence full of unholiness. This is the gloriousness of word porn, everyone.

The moment was perfect as he reached for her shirt and prepared to unveil what was beneath. In his head a choir sang a heavenly tune as the sacrosanct mammaries were revealed, and the light seemed to hit them in an angelic reveal. But then he had his accident from sensory overload. She went home, and his adolescent pain continued.

Have a great weekend everyone!

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