Hello everyone. I’m taking a break from QRW for awhile, devoting my time to what truly needs it: my freelancing work, and my creative writing work. I hope to be back soon. Thanks for your support!

Hello one and all! After a weekend of blisters, sweat baths, and some face-melting rock, I’m ready to dive back into our case study series.

Here’s how I described this series in last week’s “Amy fucks up again” post:

Case studies – we know ‘em, we sometimes write ‘em, and we often find ourselves buying useful and useless stuff by reading them. So why not use the power of case studies to better our freelancing abilities? Today and in the coming weeks I’ll use a few examples from the QRW office as one potential way of approaching some common problems and annoying pains in the ass, complete with details, mistakes, and lessons. We’ll look at case studies in how to write about topics you have no familiarity with; how to handle requested rewrites; how to deal with needy (and even bitchy) clients; and how to bargain and barter your way to full pipelines.

Our case study today is one where the freelance gods shine on me, but I quickly dissolve into pissing-my-pants fear.

Background. One of the joys of freelance life is the variety. One day we’re writing an article about diversity in the medical imaging community, creating an ad for a suburban orthopedics business, and writing website copy for a personal training firm. The next we’re horribly procrastinating and watching “That 70s Show” reruns at 2 in the afternoon… But I digress. The point is, we do a lot of different writing, and sometimes we get a chance to expand even more. Early last year I heard from a production firm that wanted a scriptwriter for short educational business films. Without any previous script experience, the director saw my clips, liked them, and wanted to try me out.

Problem. Hey, new clients and new avenues are a cause for a toast and some celebration, no question. But in the QRW household, they’re also cause for some crippling anxiety.

My thoughts: Sweet, a new client! A new area, too. Never done script writing. Should be fun, and could mean lots of opportunities for additional work in the future. …Of course, I could whiff this one. I don’t know anything about script writing. The potential for taking a nosedive here is pretty large. I think I need to use the bathroom.

Problem 2. Nothing new. But now my mind races to weird directions.

My thoughts: I mean, I could write this and he could laugh at me on the phone. I could start writing and some sort of pig latin gibberish could come out and I wouldn’t even know, and then I’d send it off and I’d get deep belly laughs. He could call me names and declare he could ruin me in this town, ruin I say! Oh gods, why am I a writer? I suck! …I need to use the bathroom.

My approach: Hyperventilating overreaction and excessive toilet visits aside, a new avenue to work in is a fantastic opportunity to expand the repertoire. To do it well, I turned to my approach with any new project, but added a few steps. I talked with the director and went over my discovery questionnaire, ensuring I understood where he was, where he wanted to be, and where his clients needed him to be. Then I asked for examples of previous scripts his company had produced, as well as any examples of scripts he particularly liked out in the real world.

My thoughts: I need more toilet paper.

Next Steps: I took the time to review, review again, and review one more time all the samples and examples. I researched and outlined the topic for the script. I made my first draft crappy, then worked and reworked until it fit in with the company’s style and needs.

My thoughts: Ok, it’s all in English. That’s good. It’s actually pretty decent, I think. And that laughing thing only happens in the movies… right?

Results: The script was a success. Sure, they had a few revisions and comments, just to ensure a better fit and the most appropriate script. But he was pleased with the work, and has given me muchos mas script projects.

Lessons learned: I can be a big old baby with irritable bowel syndrome when it comes down to new ventures. But it makes me over prepare, and often ensures success in the end. So fraidy cats unite!

Your turn: Do you get the frights when something new comes your way? How do you handle taking on something you’ve never done before?

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Guten morgan, all you QRW lovers! Today marks the beginning of an annual rite of sweat here in Chicago: Lollapalooza. A three-day orgy of music, food, weird t-shirts, armpit stains and booze, this is my fourth year and I’m freaking excited. What better way to kick off rocking out with our cocks out than with Word Porn?

In honor of the orgasmoganza, word porn this week has a particular theme. Enjoy.

Praxis

Any devotees will know my love of words with rarely used consonants. Oh X, you lovely letter. Remember when you were the name of the shady government source in the 2-4th seasons of X-Files? Good times, until you got gacked. Anywho, praxis means the practical application of a theory. Hmm. Let’s extrapolate this bad boy into a Lolla-gag.

Roddy boasted loudly of his staying power when it came to wading through the three-day schedule of bands across a mile of terrain. He planned to crisscross to see every band he possibly could. But after a few hours of running through sand and crowds and political rhetoric, he collapsed long before Radiohead’s triumphant night 1 show. Long on theory, short on praxis, his friends said as they rocked out over his passed out body.

Grog

Some words just conjure up an image. This makes me think of rowdy dark age pubs where you’d get a pint, a pinch, and a punch. Grog means liquor, and occasionally rum weakened with water. You can see where this is going, my dearies.

Fueled by grog and little else, Stacey stood under the corrosive sun and shook herself around in time to the beat. At the hospital later, treated for heat stroke, third degree scalp burns, and dehydration, she smiled at a good day.

Zenith

Hey I know this one! That’s the brand of my TV! Or, it was…I vaguely recall fuzzy VCR recordings of Dirty Dancing and the Dolly Parton/Kenny Rogers Holiday special playing on a Zenith… Actually, zenith means culminating point, highest point, acme. I guess that Parton/Rogers this was a zenith on a Zenith! Ho ho ho, I kill myself. Let’s move on.

As the sun set on the thousands of weary, burned, intoxicated, and adrenaline-fueled fans, Nine Inch Nails took the stage. The three-day festival came to its zenith when Trent Reznor spotted a lone redhead in the crowd and brought her on stage to caress lovingly.

…Ok, so I like my NIN. And perhaps I let my daydream invade the word porn space. But it could happen, right?? Here’s hoping for Sunday night that’s good for us redheads.

That’s it, folks! If you’re in Chicago and heading to Lolla, remember this: apply and reapply that smelly sunblock. And rock out.

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