Quiet Rebel Writer

Hello QRW readers and fans. As you may have noticed, I’ve been a little lax over the last week with my posting. Sure, I’ve got a few big deadlines that are grabbing my attention and energy. Sure, I’ve been feverishly cleaning up the new joint for our first boarder, a dear friend from out of town that’s in for the week. Sure, I’ve got a nasty cold that has now settled square in the chest, causing those deeply painful and desperately unsexy hacking coughs.

But really, those are all excuses. I’m burned out.

As I’ve argued over the last few months, there is no limit or strictures on creativity and output. So burned out is not a really accurate term. I haven’t exhausted my supply of words and ideas like a gas pump that’s dry, or a match that’s curled and black. Rather, it’s the process of writing that’s got me down. I’m in that ugly stage where my daily work makes me cringe and I seek out anything (even cleaning toilets) to do instead.

“Burnout” isn’t unique to writing. I think we’re especially susceptible to it, along with other creative professionals, because our daily schedule has a minimum of busy work, those activities that require a minimum of thinking and creating. Plus, freelancers are vulnerable to it because of the lack of boundaries. Working can continue all day every day if we allow it, and actual unplugged vacations often take a backseat to the driving need to keep those bank accounts solvent.

But everyone’s got to get it. And I’ve got it. Blergh.

As a result, this blogging endeavor of mine is in danger of suffering. When I committed to this blog, I wanted a space where I could express myself in ways that my paying work doesn’t always allow. I wanted an area where I could entertain and stimulate with a bit of rebellious views. I wanted a little corner of the blogosphere for my very own, where I could build up a community of friends and followers with similar issues and thoughts. And holy crap: it worked.

But with my little funk of sorts, blogging doesn’t seem as enticing. And that’s a problem. I didn’t work my butt off over the last few months to let it die in the face of lethargy. I want QRW to live and thrive and grow.

So what I do? As you faithful readers will know, I tackle it like other problems and concerns. Sure, cold calling makes me run screaming into the night (or day, depending on the sun’s position), but not much else can defeat me, dammit. It’s all about perspective, and thinking about things in different ways. I’ve been brainstorming lately, coming up with ideas to improve this here blog, to hone my methods of producing it, to fix some holes, and to get it in front of more coolass readers like you.

So why does this matter to you? A few months ago, I did my blog planning in a vacuum. Now I’ve got real live readers, with needs and desires and things that make them go hmm. I’ve got ideas for ways to enhance this blog and ways to get excited about it, and now I’ve got people to run them by. Sweet!

Want to be heard? Want to direct the QRW in new directions for your edification and amusement? Want to help kick burnout in the nether regions? Here’s what you can do. I’ve got questions; you’ve got thoughts and answers. Leave them in a comment below, or email me directly at amy [at] amylillard [dot] com. It’s that simple, and that fun. In return, you’ll get content more geared towards your desires, and you’ll get some shout-outs here to boot.

Here we go:

1. What posts do you value most at QRW? What posts can you do without?

• Creative Kick (weekly bouts of inspiring writing)
• Freelance Frenzy (thoughts on freelancing conundrums, including intimidation, weight gain, screwing up, and more)
• Marketing Maven (instruction and experiences in the wacky world of marketing freelance services)
• Publishing Aspirations (tales and advice in seeking novel publication)
• Word Porn (heh heh heh)
• Rants (when the QRW lets loose, and all cower in fear)
• Writers Who Matter (semi-regular pieces on writers who kick ass)
• Lassoed Links (weekly link love)

2. The QRW is considering using weekly themes, series of topics that can be examined through a general Freelance Frenzy view, a Marketing view, and a Publishing view. Here are some suggested themes:

• Giving Up: When to Throw Up Your Hands and Quit
• Going it Alone versus Getting Support
• Why Borders Are for Suckers: International Rules for Freelancers

What topics/themes would you like to see covered, with the QRW’s unique blend of exposition and entertaining tartness?

3. What is about the QRW that keeps you coming back?

4. What design changes would be helpful to you, the readers?

• Most Popular Posts sidebar
• A summary at the beginning of each post
• Comment Luv option
• Podcasts
• Archive enhancement
• Other

5. No question here. Just a spot for you to riff. Go for it - tell me what you’re thinking. Or issue your own challenge. It’s good stuff.

In conclusion, thanks. Thanks for reading through this. Thanks for submitting your thoughts. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy QRW. You rock.

Hello all, and welcome to the week! I’m getting over a cold here at QRW headquarters, and I’m in that stage where swallowing feels like my throat is being slit. Good times. But I allowed myself to sleep in to compensate, and I’m determined to kick this cold in the freezing buttocks.

Let’s kick off the week with a review of some downright sublime posts from the world o’ blogs. Enjoy.

Writing, Freelancing and Blogging:

• Writing Blog Madness: The Final Four: John brings his crafty competition to an end. I’m pretty psyched that John August, the winner of my bout, is in the final four. I was beat by one of the best! Oh - and do notice Poe War’s nifty new design.
• When You Don’t Know What to Charge
• 178 Ways to Improve Your Internet Writing
• The Importance of Storytelling In Blogging
• A Remedy for Blogger Inferiority Complex
• Bad Habits: 8 Ways Freelancers Disrespect Their Own Time

Productivity, Business, and Just for Fun

• Dirty Hands and Personal Development
• Nomophobia and The Curse of The Mobile Phone
• A Small Business Marketing Lesson For My Local Sex Shop
• Classic Geek Movies

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Welcome to Friday, and to the return of Word Porn!

Here at the QRW, I like to entertain. Educate. Stimulate. And most of all, I like to engage with you, my lovely readers. One of my loyal disciples, in addition to providing thoughtful and encouraging comments to many posts, surprised and enticed me with something special a few weeks ago: a challenge. See, Charlie is an avid fan of word porn. He, like me, loves the words, but he, like me, all too often reverts to the same tired expressions to express pleasure and enjoyment. With multisyllabic gems like those highlighted here in Word Porn, why oh why do we still insist on using “sweet,” “awesome,” and other once original but now worn out words?

So good old Charlie challenged me to expand our vocabulary. There’s got to be some better words out there, words that are fun to say, words that will impress our friends (or confuse them, same diff). Always ready for a challenge, I dedicate this week’s word porn to this task.

First up: “Awesome.” Used by surfer dudes and Midwestern gals alike, I use this word with astounding frequency. Then when the alcohol flows, as it did last night, in which I attended a happy hour for my boyfriend’s firm, then a late night trip to a karaoke bar, it pops out a ludicrous clip. What are some better, more Word-Porn-like options? And how could they be used in everyday speech, and drunken bar conversation?

Fancy Synonyms:

• Sublime: This means impressing the mind, inspiring awe or veneration. In a sentence? “Shit man, I got mad pool skills. We’re talking sublime. Let’s do this.”
• August: Inspiring awe or intimidation. “Dude, that guitar solo? Totally august.”
• Resplendent: Splendid, dazzling, magnificent. “I’m celebrating a cover story assignment. Freakin’ resplendent pay. A round of red-headed slut shots, please.”

Slangy Alternatives:

• Bitchin’: Duh. “I think I’m a great fit with your needs, Mr. Prospective Client. With my combination of experience and skills, I can provide you with truly appropriate and bitchin’ results.”
  (Warning: Don’t try this one at home)

Next up: “Sweet.” I used this one a lot in my younger years, then it went away. A few months ago it resurfaced, without warning, and it threatens to replace nearly every word in my spoken vocabulary. Not sweet. And on evenings such as last night, “sweet” is usually a screamed utterance, with a few flashes of the devil horns. So what other options do we have?

Fancy Synonyms:

• Mellifluous: Smooth and sweet, flowing. “You’re going to karaoke to ‘Baby Got Back?’ Mellifluous!!”
• Winsome: Pleasing to the eye or mind. “No matter how much I’ve been drinking, I have still resisted the temptation to embarrass myself with a little Joan Jett karaoke. Winsome.”
• Dulcet: Pleasant to the eye or feelings. “Dulcet! We’re still rocking out at 1 am, and we have to work tomorrow! We’re gonna live for-evah!!! … I feel sick…”

Slangy Alternatives:

• Sweat: Chalk this up to some seriously confused high school classmates. In the annual rite of passing around yearbooks to get autographs/epithets/diatribes/LYAS markings, I would always be called “Sweet.” But misspelled. Now I’ve harnessed the inherent comedy of my poor spelling compadres, and used “Sweat” as a nice replacement. See how it works? “Trent Effing Reznor is gonna be at Lolla, man. Totally sweat.”

Well, that was totally sweet AND awesome. And more of a challenge than I anticipated. But very fun.

Now it’s your turn. What words do you overuse? And feel free to issue your own challenges.

Like this post? Who wouldn’t love word porn?! Share your love and adoration by spreading the word. Stumble/Digg/Delicious it, send the QRW link to your friends, and shout it from the mountaintops and/or city decks. You’ll be happier for it…

For this week’s theme we’ve talked about the twin terrors of insecurity and intimidation when it comes to living creatively. Thursday is marketing maven time here at the QRW, and these internal drags are a painfully appropriate topic.

Makes a sick kind of sense, dunnit? The best time for insecurity to rear its ugly parasitic head is when we should be most confident, most secure. Freelancers have to market ourselves in order to survive. We have to continually put ourselves in front of others in order to get those clients that pay us the medium-sized bucks. Marketing our services is the time when we need to boast a bit, to think about our phenomenal talents and play those up until we are irresistible. But of course, we may really be quaking in the knees about our talents and abilities. And so marketing becomes intimidating.

And oh yes, there are different kinds of intimidation. Join me, won’t you, on a personal journey through the various insecurities and intimidations I (and perhaps you) can feel when marketing.

• The “Don’t Talk to Strangers” Intimidation. So we’re told ad nauseum about the power of cold calling as a marketing method. I’ve remarked previously about my irrationally powerful hatred of cold calling. And you know why that is? I get intimidated when calling strangers. I don’t even like to call my friends and family, the doctor, or People’s Gas when my bill reaches the knife in the gut price range. So the idea of calling strangers who might be potential clients makes me want to curl up in a fetal position and protect the inner organs.

  The intimidation here, for me, is the uncontrollable nature of phone calls. I’m a writer – I work best when expressing my thoughts through writing. A phone call represents way too many opportunities to misspeak, to represent myself poorly, to make inappropriate jokes that involve profanity (a reflex, I swear). No matter if I have talking points or even a script in front of me, I’m still desperately uncomfortable and anxious, intimidated by these folks with such power on the other end, and insecure about my ability to express myself.

• The “Not So Fresh Feeling” Intimidation. Remember that all-encompassing fear that rises like an unkillable Michael Jackson zombie when calling strangers? Talking to them in person is nearly as bad. At business events, networking sessions, and even informal groups, if the purpose is to generate leads and potential clients, intimidation reigns. I feel like that painfully shy teenager again, only now I have to go up to the pretty girls and attractive boys and ask for money.
• The “Holy shit, am I really that good?” Intimidation. I’m preparing print or electronic marketing materials. Back in the realm of comfort, the written word comes naturally and I make some kickass introductions to my services. But then upon rereading, I get a little freaked. Am I really as good as I say I am? Can I actually do what I promise to do? Am I really worth the money? Am I really cut out to be a writer? Am I good enough, and smart enough, and do people really like me? And so on.
• The “When a Stranger Calls” Intimidation. As a result of hard-fought marketing efforts, someone actually calls. Answering the phone and finding an unfamiliar voice on the other end should be a time of rejoicing. Instead, I can occasionally freak. Who is this person, and what the frak do they think I can do for them? Wait, they want to hire me? Cue the stuttering, the lips flapping, the things coming out of the mouth that I regret later (low-balled prices, quick turn-around promises, those jokes that land with a thud and shocked silence…)

Good times. So here’s the thing – I’ve battled all these insecurities and intimidation, and defeated them. For the most part, I’m confident, calm, and comfortable when at networking events, preparing marketing materials, and even accepting calls. (Cold calling still makes me batshit crazy scared. I’ve opted out of this technique as a result.) I’m more secure in my abilities, and in my efforts to market them. I reason with myself: because my business is doing well, I’m obviously giving my clients value, and I’m doing well at marketing myself. Hence, no need to fear.

My solution, then, for marketing-induced insecurity and intimidation is a combination of things. I remind myself that, yes, goddamn right, I’m a good writer and a good businessperson, and worth all the well-crafted subtle boasting I can do. I also eliminate what I can’t stomach. Cold calling is out for me; as an alternative, I work the other areas like nobody’s bidness.

As one Twitter friend reminded me yesterday, intimidation should be a fight or flight phenomenon. Unless you’re facing down a grizzly that can maim and/or eat you, there’s no cause for being intimidated. And I have yet to find a client or prospect that was able to do either.

Now it’s your turn. Have you faced any insecurities and intimidation when marketing yourself? How do you handle it?

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So why should I read this post?

• Delightful details on the insecurity and intimidation fiction and nonfiction book writers face
• A method to defuse that pesky, pathetic inner voice of doubt
• A chance to tell your story

For those of you like me, with the masochistic desire to write books and get them published, with that willingness to sacrifice time spent relaxing, or with a significant other, or doing something that actually, well, pays, all for the pursuit of a pretty unlikely dream, you understand the crushing power of insecurity and intimidation.

As I noted yesterday, freelancers, writers, and all those who have creative pursuits are probably intimate with insecurity. It sneaks up on you, no matter how happy, confident, successful, or otherwise well adjusted you might be. It strikes at inopportune times, in the form of that voice in your head you want to bitch-slap like all get out, that voice that says you suck, you’re a fluke, a faker, a total failure at everything you try, and doomed to fail again and again until you die alone. Or something like that.

Those hardy folks who take on the mighty task of writing a novel or other book face insecurity so potentially crippling it turns quickly to intimidation. Let’s see how this works.

• The “Holy shit, that’s … good” intimidation. You’re reading a favorite author, or a new find. And as you read, it quickly becomes apparent that you’re reading amazing stuff. Writing that gets under your skin. That haunts you or tickles you or gets you. And rather than enjoy or simply marvel at this genius writing, you get intimidated and discouraged.

  I get this regularly. I should be taking notes, soaking in the stellar technique and nifty tools these writers use to create these terrific creations. But no. I wallow. I get frustrated and sad. I could never do what they do, says that aggravating sissy in my head.

• The “Ah crap, hard work?” intimidation. You’ve got the germ of a story there in that noggin, but instead of just writing you fret. It’s not going to be any good. It will be a waste of time. It’s too damn hard – the thinking, the organizing, the writing, the revising… And then, knowing the cutthroat world of publishing, ain’t nothing gonna happen with it anyway.

  This is why my novel took four years. My effing head got in the way.

• The “They’re all gonna laugh at you!” intimidation. Ah yes. Akin to the dream of facing a classroom/boardroom/room of the opposite sex without clothing, there’s the nightmare of mass ridicule. There’s that thought that after all your hard work and blood and sweat and bile, your creation will spark not accolade but mass giggles and guffaws.

So what’s the solution? How do you prevent intimidation from taking hold and interrupting the work you really do want to do? I don’t know if there is one. I get intimidation rooted in insecurity all the time when it comes to working on my novels. It’s aggravating beyond belief, and it’s more than a little sad.

I do have one mantra that I use. It’s something that comforts me, that may not provide a clear path of insecurity-free writing, but gives me perspective. I remind myself of all the work and time it took my favorite authors to get to where they are. I remind myself that most authors who have found any kind of success or realization of their dream had a shitload of rejection along the way. I remind myself that it can take a while to find that voice, that many first books, even by the greats, suck, and that great things come from commitment and resolve and sticking it out. In that way, I calm down. I realize that even if this book doesn’t get out there or doesn’t best express me, maybe the next one will. Or the next.

This helps defuse the twin troubles of insecurity and intimidation. It cuts the power of that bitchy little whiner of a voice inside my head, and gives me an environment with less pressure in which to keep working and pushing and creating.

What about you? Any tricks to defang the intimidation you face in a book-length creative project?

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What the hell is this post about?

• Insecurity: The freelancing and creativity plague
• Intimidation: The killer of business success and creativity
• Why insecurity and intimidation suck
• The QRW Weekly Theme

The challenges freelancers face in establishing and continuing a successful writing biz are pretty overwhelming. The challenges those who strive to be more creative face are equally as numerous. But when it comes to identifying the biggest blocks to business success and creativity, my money is on two interweaving biggies: Insecurity and Intimidation.

Insecurity: In-se-cure-eh-tee. Noun. 1: The condition ascribed to all bullies and other school torturers by mothers anxious to calm their seriously freaked and possibly bleeding kids. 2. The apt description for the state of the worldwide economy. 3. The state of lacking confidence. 4. Something we’re supposed to be over by now, dammit!

It’s a frustrating thing, insecurity. No matter how confident we may be in other areas of our lives, no matter how successful we may have become in terms of business goals, insecurity can still strike. I get it every time I start a new project. I have a moment of sheer panic, one in which it becomes painfully clear that I am a major faker, a charlatan akin to circus folk, completely incapable of stringing a few words together, let alone creating a coherent report, or website, or magazine article, or brochure, or any number of other projects. I have a desperate urge to run far away, take my Battlestar Galactica DVDs and my meager wallet contents and my cat and head for those mythical hills.

Of course, by now those moments are brief and manageable. But they still exist. And so do the moments of intimidation.

Intimidation: In-ti-meh-da-shun. Noun. 1. The condition of cowering before that of which we are afraid. 2. The mental bullshit we allow because we are insecure.

Oh yes. See, I get intimidated by many things. I’m intimidated of sources for articles, who have those impressive letters behind their names that signify crazy long periods of education. I’m intimidated by other writers who have done this for much longer and with much greater success. I’m intimidated by agents and publishing firms, by clients and their power over my purse, of those girls that are always impeccably stylish and put together and who project that personification of coolness and could-care-less-ness…

I digress. What’s sucky about intimidation is the fact that I allow it to happen. I’m insecure, and so I can get intimidated.

So how to deal with it? That’s this week’s theme. Tomorrow I’ll take a look at insecurity and intimidation in the book writing and selling process; Thursday I’ll think about insecurity and intimidation in the freelance marketing area.

In the meantime, it’s your turn. What makes you insecure? What are you intimidated by?

Like this post? There’s more where that came from, sugar. Subscribe by email or RSS to follow the weekly theme, and to never go without a daily dose of QRW…

Hello everyone, and welcome to the week! I’m back from my weeklong sojourn to I-O-WA, the state where I was born and raised. My entire family lives there, so it’s quite a trip with lots of folks to see. But the main focus of this trip was my new nephew, born to my younger brother and his rock star of a wife. Pretty incredible stuff.

To get back on track here, and think about the creative kick we need to jump into the week, I’ve understandably got Iowa on the brain. I have an easy way to explain this state to folks that have never been, and/or have no desire to go, one I routinely whip out at parties and meetings when the topic turns to hometowns, and “Iowa” is met with a blank, confused look. Iowa has no professional sports teams, but has a population with a love of beer and sports. So where does that energy get funneled? Into college sports.

The love of University of Iowa football in my family reaches insane heights, and I have clear memories of watching and attending games at a wee age, long before I was ever a student there, Christmases are filled with Iowa-themed gifts; Family weddings are not complete without the fight song played at least once. An epic rivalry exists between the University of Iowa and Iowa State University, a rivalry so bitter, so fierce, that it is truly shocking to outsiders.

Anywho, it occurred to me today that some of the accoutrements around Iowa viewing, cheering, and boozing, all those activities that make up a fall weekend, are actually prime territory for a creative kick. Sometimes it’s all about simplicity. Words that get you excited, that make you jump around in a university parking lot hours before a game starts, forgetting the bitter cold and the fourteen layers you’re wearing, forgetting that beer before 9 am is usually frowned upon. Words that reflect a realistic spin on the joys of life while we live it.

In that vein, here’s an Iowa classic. Played at every game, at every pep rally, in every Iowa-loving home around the state and around the country, this is it:

The words? Quick and potent:

In heaven there is no beer.
That’s why we drink it here.
And when we’re gone from here?
Our friends will be drinking all our beer!

There you go. A nice little creative kick, and a glimpse into my upbringing. Hope you enjoyed.

Like this post? Who wouldn’t? Let us know about it by commenting below. And be sure to subscribe by email or RSS to see what the QRW will write about next…

Hello all! I will be vacating the blogosphere this week as I trek to my home state of Iowa. (which, despite the sign, has more than manure. I swear.) What awaits me there? My brother and his wife, who welcomed a ginormous baby boy two weeks ago. My other brother, stoked to be an uncle. And my parents, ecstatic at being made grandparents. Good stuff.

But don’t worry. While I gaze lovingly at my smooshy nephew and marvel at the odd genetic stew this kid is inheriting, I’m not leaving you lovely readers empty handed. Herewith, enjoy some of the best, weirdest, coolest and most popular posts from this little corner of the blogging world. Read them. Tell us what you think. Digg/Stumble/Delicious/make out with them. They come from the heart and the head, but are truly made whole by your interaction with them.

New to QRW? Well! Check out these bad boys below, and you’ll get an instant feel for the joint. Subscribe by email or RSS, and never go without again.

• Madonna and Freelancing: An “A-Ha!” Marketing Moment
• What to Do When you Screw Up
• First Draft Mantra: Make it Crappy
• Writers Who Matter: The Master and his Moscow Devil
• Monday Date: Sweet Misery
• What the Frak is a Quiet Rebel Writer? Part 1 and Part 2
• Rant: Taking the Leap into Quiet Rebellion
• Rant: Letter to Myself
• Word Porn Gets Literal

And just ‘cus I like you all so much, here’s a few gems that will serve to help you ease into the week, and get you through those dark days when it seems I will never return (but rest assured I will…)

and…

and… (hold on to your effing hats)

Have a great week!

Sunday link love, just for you. Enjoy.

Blogging:

• The Ultimate Men with Pens Guide to Twitter
• 10 Ways to Improve Blog Traffic in 30 Minutes or Less
• Building a Popular Social Media Profile: Seven Essential Characteristics
• How to Get Piles of Links, Subscribers and Comments
• Ethical Social Networking
• Five Twitter Tools to Expand your Circle of Friends

Freelancing:

• 10 Productivity Hacks for Freelancers
• Recognizing Your Inner-Boss: 10 Breeds and How to Survive With Them
• Passive Marketing for Freelancers
• How To Keep Mistakes From Ruining Your Freelance Career
• Ten Tips for Getting out of a Freelancing Rut
• The Young-Edgy-Cool Conundrum
• How To Avoid Getting Screwed as a New Business Owner

Grab Bag o’ fun:

• Money Smart Week Chicago: Apr.20-26
• A Special Theory of Productivity
• RIP, HTTP, etc.
• We’re declaring Spring Break for ChronicBabes
• The James Dean Guide to Being a Body Language Bad*ss

Have a great Sunday!

Like this post? Of course you did. Tell us about it. And while you’re at it, subscribe by RSS or email and stay in the QRW know…

Friday afternoon. Getting on towards happy hour. So before I get happy, it’s time to purge in the weekly rant.

In the spirit of word porn, that lovely Friday tradition in these parts, this week’s rant is focused into one-word sentiments. Words have that ability – to convey a world of emotions and power into a few luscious syllables. And when you’re at the end of a week where composing one more lucid sentence seems to be nigh on impossible, this is a nifty way to focus my ranting prowess.

So here we go. Random word association time, with an occasional word porn star, and a surprisingly utilitarian team player:

Presidential Campaign:

• Overwrought
• Procrustean
• Fanfaronade
• Clusterfuck (one of the best words EVER…)

The (second) demise of Jericho:

• Infuriating
• Clusterfuck (and so useful…)

Rejection from agents for my novel:

• Exhausting
• Deserving of a bouleversement (right? Right? So it wasn’t one word. It involved a word porn alum. You love it)
• Inveterate
• Clusterfuck (…it sort of applies…)

The one-two punch of procrastination and increasing assignments, guaranteeing a weekend of work:

• Blergh
• Clusterfuck (oh hell yeah…)

My inexplicable habit of ruining every piece of clothing I own with brightly colored food, pens, paint, and what-have-you:

• Parlous
• Morass
• Clusterfuck (I mean, why do I even buy white anymore? Really??)

Whew, I feel better. I’m sure there’s more where that came from, but I’m spent. Tune in this weekend for a winning book to add to your pile, some link love, and some surprises. Until then, have a blissfully, positively eupeptic Friday evening.

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